Fearless (Less Is More Book 2) Read online

  “Well, I’m sure this year will be no different.”

  “I wish you’d join,” he says to me.

  “That could be fun to watch,” Ethan says, smiling.

  “Until I get my ass kicked.”

  “Man,” Ian says, “I’ve seen you fight and you’d be amazing.”

  “Just not going to happen,” I say. “Nursing is enough danger for me.”

  My brother used to be a fighter - that’s why he moved to Texas when he was young. It’s also the reason he couldn’t come and see our mom before she died. Money and women were a lot more important than family.

  “Probably for the best,” Ethan says. “We wouldn’t want to ruin that pretty face of yours.”

  ***

  “Are you sure you want to watch this one?” I say as we get to the ticket counter. “There’s newer stuff out this week.”

  “I haven’t seen it yet,” he says.

  We make our way into the theatre and it’s completely empty.

  “Apparently, everyone else has seen it,” I say, smiling. “You picked this one for a reason.”

  “Kind of,” he says. He makes his way to the far, back right corner of the room and sits down.

  “A whole theatre and you want to sit in the very back?”

  “Just sit down,” he says. My cock gets hard as I think about what he has planned and I sit down as the previews start playing.

  “Are you wanting to make out?” I ask him. “Like we’re in high school?”

  “Not hardly,” he says. “Take your pants off.”

  He goes to grab my zipper and I say, “Wait.”

  He sits back down and looks at me, confused. I lean to my side and kiss his neck as I reach down and grab his cock. I unbutton his pants and shove my hand down them as he leans his head back and closes his eyes. He scoots his pants down to his ankles and smiles as I run my hand down his stomach and back up his chest.

  I pull his underwear back and his cock springs to life as I take it in one hand and stick my lips on the tip. He lays his hand in my hair as I motion up and down, drowning his cock with my mouth.

  I deep-throat it as he arches his hips up and lets out a soft moan. I smile as I let off it and look into his eyes, jerking him back and forth. The theatre door opens on the other side of the room and two women make their way down the aisle, sitting to the left of the middle seats.

  Ethan lifts his chest and says, “Ugh.”

  I push him back and stick his cock in my mouth again. It takes him by surprise and he laughs as I get him closer and closer to coming.

  “I’m gonna come,” he whispers, arching his hips up and down.

  I put my hand over his mouth as he lets out a soft moan and unloads into my mouth.

  “Okay,” he says, pulling me off him, “okay.”

  He laughs and leans his head back as he pulls his underwear and pants back up.

  “I love you,” he says. “I wanted to do that.”

  “Next time,” I say.

  “We still have time,” he says. “The movie hasn’t started yet.”

  I point to the screen as the opening credits start for the movie and he pouts as he turns back around and crosses his legs. He grabs my hand and holds it on top of the cup holder.

  “I’m not waiting until next time,” he says and I smile.

  ***

  We get back to his apartment and he gets a glass of water. My first thought when I walk in the door is to ask him about dinner, but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

  Luckily, I make my way to the couch and he says, “I thought I saw him.”

  “Who?” I say, but I already know.

  “Rick,” he says. “I looked out the window and he was standing there, staring at me. I instantly felt sick and when I blinked, he was gone. I know I was only imagining it, but it was still just weird.”

  “Are you still having the dreams?”

  “No,” he says, shaking his head back and forth, “I swear. I’d tell you if I was. I don’t know why tonight happened at dinner. It’s probably just another thing like the dreams. Just old memories creating negative energy.”

  “At least the movie was good,” I say, changing the subject.

  He sits down beside me and says, “Very good.”

  “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Ethan.”

  “I know,” he says.

  “Seriously,” I say, “whatever it takes. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “Well,” he says, “hopefully you won’t need to do any protecting”

  “Hopefully,” I say.

  He turns on the TV and leans on my shoulder. I have a sickening feeling in my gut that this thing with Rick isn’t over and if he does show his face around here, he’ll wish he hadn’t.

  Chapter Seven

  Ethan

  I WAKE UP AND INSTANTLY SMILE as I realize that my best friend is back in town and I get to see him at dinner tonight. Cody and I visited Ethan while he was in London, but not having him in the city hasn’t been easy with everything going on.

  I’m still nervous after our dinner last week with Ian. I know I saw Rick there. If I didn’t, then I’m going crazy at this point because I’m seeing people that aren’t there.

  I get in the shower and lie under the hot water as nothing but thoughts of Rick start showing up in my mind. I know he’s still out there, but would he still come after me after almost two years?

  Yes, he would. He’s a fucking psychopath.

  I hear the bathroom door creak open and freeze as I see a figure behind the shower curtain slowly walking towards me.

  “Ethan?” Cody says and I feel relived.

  “I thought you were a burglar or something.”

  “Nope,” he says, “just your boyfriend.”

  “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

  “I forgot my wallet here yesterday.”

  “Okay.”

  “Still picking you up around six?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay,” he says. “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I sit down on the floor of the shower as Cody makes his way out of the bathroom and bring my knees up to my chest. I circle my arms around my kneecaps and stick my head between them.

  I try to focus on Cody and push out every negative thought about Rick. Steam fills the room as my thoughts diminish and a sense of peace comes over me.

  ***

  “I’m disappointed by the lack of an accent from the both of you,” I say, taking a drink of my beer. The only difference in the last few months is that Elliot got a new haircut and Will’s beard is thicker.

  “I’m just glad we’re back,” Will says, laughing. “I have a nephew to hold and a niece to hug.”

  “I’m glad, too,” Elliot says. “It was nice over there, but I like it here a lot more. I do like the way they dress over there, though. Everyone actually seems to give a little bit of a shit. And people aren’t as fat, either.”

  “There isn’t a McDonalds on every street corner is why,” I say.

  “Basically,” Elliot says. “Anything new happened here since we’ve been gone?”

  “Not really,” I say.

  “What about the text—“

  “I got the text you sent me, yes,” I say. I kick Elliot under the table and he glares at me.

  “Good,” he says, forcing a smile.

  “So,” Cody says, “what’s your guys’ plan for the wedding?”

  “Nothing,” Will says. “He’s being stubborn, so I think we’re going to focus on getting a house first.”

  “Sam will probably be disappointed that you’re leaving,” I say.

  “He’s been wanting to leave that apartment anyway,” Elliot says.

  “You guys have an idea of where?” Cody asks them.

  “Close to my sister,” Will says. “I want to be closer to them and help out with the baby.”

  “Do you have a picture of him?” Cody asks.

  Will takes out
his phone and smiles as he gives it to Cody. Cody zooms in a little and shows it to me. Cody is grinning from ear to ear at the sight of him and my first thought is if Cody wants a kid now.

  “You guys need one,” I say.

  “One day,” Elliot says. “I want to make sure I can live with this guy first.”

  Will bumps into Elliot’s shoulder and Elliot says, “You know I’m kidding. Love you.”

  “Same,” Will says.

  “Cute,” I say.

  Ever since Elliot and Will have gotten together, I wonder what there life together is even like. They act like they’re madly in love, which I don’t doubt, but I don’t feel that way around Cody. I’m comfortable with Cody, and I love Cody, but I don’t squirm every time he looks at me and I know I don’t look at him the way Will looks at Elliot or vice versa.

  I’m not sure whether that makes them unrealistic or if it means I don’t care enough about Cody.

  I’m actually not sure if I even know what real love is. I loved Rick in a way that is sickening and unhealthy. I didn’t love him in the sense that I enjoyed waking up next to him every morning and I definitely didn’t get butterflies when I saw him. I loved that I had someone when I was with Rick and nothing more. He cured my loneliness and I kept him in my life because I didn’t want to be alone. I put up with all of his bullshit because I thought I deserved that kind of love. In a way, he reminded me of the fact that my dad has always been ashamed of who I am and I felt like Rick was a form of punishment for me.

  At the time, I thought I could fix him and cure him of all his demons. All I did was ignite the fire and got burned in the process. I never healed anything and only got scarred myself.

  “Hadley told me that you hooked her up with a friend of Cody’s,” Elliot says.

  “Tried to,” I say.

  “I heard it, actually, went very well,” Cody says. “He thought she was great.”

  “I haven’t talked to her all week,” I say. “Work has been ridiculous.”

  “She said he is going to give her a run for her money,” Elliot says.

  “I’m excited to see it play out,” Cody says, laughing. “The last girl Ian dated was my good friend, Carrie, and he couldn’t handle her. If he can handle Hadley, I’ll be surprised.”

  “Now we just need to find Sam someone,” Elliot says.

  “He’s too obsessed with work anymore,” I say. “When we go out, he doesn’t even look in the direction of a guy. It’s weird. You’d think he’d want something at least once a month.”

  “He just doesn’t want to go through it all again,” Elliot says. “He loved Andrew and Andrew just used him.”

  “I don’t know any other gay guys to be honest,” Cody says. “We need some new blood.”

  “We’ll find him someone at the wedding,” Will says. “There will be a good bit there.”

  “Don’t tell him that or he won’t come,” Elliot says, laughing. “I’m still pissed you guys went to that concert without me.”

  “It was amazing,” I say. “Then we went to the fucking zoo the next day.”

  “Awe,” Elliot says, “you’re first time, right?”

  “And my last.”

  “You didn’t like it?” Elliot says.

  “No,” I say. “I also got a dirty look from a woman after I said fuck.

  “I can see why,” he says. “Most parents don’t want their children hearing such things.”

  “How’s work, Cody?” Will says.

  “Good,” he says, nodding. “It’s been really busy lately.”

  “I don’t think I could handle your job,” Elliot says. “Emotionally, I mean.”

  “It has its bad days,” Cody says. “There are a lot of those, but there are also just as many good ones and that’s why I do it.”

  “And you do it better than anyone I know,” I say.

  Cody kisses me on the head and says, “Thank you.”

  “By the way,” Elliot says, “are we still on for tomorrow?”

  “Yeah,” I say. “The weather is supposed to be good so we can probably swim once we’re down there. Probably one of our last weekends to do it before it gets cold.”

  ***

  Elliot parks the car and we make our way down the street and over to the beach by the pier. Everyone is out this morning and I’m already annoyed with everyone I’m bumping shoulders with.

  “I really didn’t figure this many people would be out,” he says, throwing his towel over his shoulder.

  “I told you,” I say, “ one of the last weekends for fun.”

  We find an open spot a few hundred feet from the water and lay our towels down. The sun is still hot today, but the wind is chilly, and I debate whether or not to even take my shirt off. I lie back on my elbows and look up at the sun that is punishing me for reasons I don’t understand.

  “I’ve missed this,” he says. “Sitting here with you like we used to in college. We spent every waking moment down here.”

  “We also got blistered the fuck out of,” I say, laughing. “But yeah, I miss it, too.”

  “So,” he says, “how are things really going?”

  “Fine,” I say. “Nothing new or exciting has happened.”

  “What about the text message situation?”

  “Nothing has came out of it and I haven’t gotten anymore, so I don’t know. I’m trying not to worry about it.”

  “Does Cody know about it?”

  “No.”

  “Ethan…”

  “I don’t want to worry him even more than he already is.”

  “Why is he worried?”

  “Last week at dinner, I thought I saw Rick outside of the restaurant and it freaked me out. I went to the bathroom and puked even, and then I told him later that night why I went to the bathroom and puked and, along with everything I told him about my past, I know he’s constantly on guard with me and wondering if something is going to happen.”

  “That’s a good thing, though.”

  “I know,” I say, “but I also don’t want my boyfriend thinking he has to keep watch over me. I can handle myself.”

  “He just loves you,” he says. “That’s all it is. I’d do the same for you if he came around again.”

  “I know it’s him, Elliot.”

  “No it’s not. There’s no way he could’ve gotten your number and for all he knows, you left town and moved far away from him.”

  “It’s him,” I say. “I just don’t know when he’s going to make himself known in a way other than a text message.”

  “Why would he go through all that trouble, though?”

  “Because he’s psychotic,” I say. I put my hand over my face and attempt to open my eyes wider in the shade of my palm. “He lost his toy and he wants it back. Maybe I should just leave the city.”

  “And be on the run forever?” he says. “If he found you this time, he’ll only find you again. But I think you’re overreacting. The text message doesn’t make sense and I know why you would think it was him, but don’t worry about it.”

  “So,” I say, “what’s with you and this damn wedding? Why don’t you want to help him with anything?”

  He looks over at me and then back to the sand, flipping it through is fingers.

  He looks out into the water and says, “The last time he planned a wedding, his fiancé died. I don’t want him to go through all that work again because he feels like he needs to make it perfect or something. I don’t know, I know I’m being stupid, but I really just want to have a small reception with my friends and family and that’s it. I don’t want a honeymoon. I want a house and hot sex with him in our nice new house. That’s it. Really, that’s all I want.”

  “He pulled me to the side last night and asked me to help him,” I say. “So, tell me what you want and I’ll make sure that he does it.”

  “Just something simple.”

  “Okay,” I say.

  “What about you two?”

  I raise my eyebrows at him and he say
s, “Would you marry him if he asked you?”

  “Probably,” I say. “He’ll never ask me, though.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m beautifully damaged.”

  “I can’t even imagine the day when you have a ring on that finger.”

  “You just want me to be part of your thing,” I say.

  “What thing?”

  “You know,” I say, “your thing.” I twirl my hands around and he laughs.

  “I just think marriage is one of the best ways to show your love for someone and you should definitely be open to the possibility.”

  “Has he brought this up to you or something?” I ask him.

  “No,” he says. “Honestly, no, I swear. I just know he’s new for you, in a good way, and marriage wouldn’t be all that bad. Assuming you both truly do love each other.”

  “If we ever do,” I say, “it will be at least a year. I’m not just jumping into it.”

  “Like Will and I?” he asks, smiling.

  “You guys are different, I guess,” I say, shrugging. “You’re madly in love and I just don’t feel that with Cody yet.”

  “You’ll know when you realize it.”

  “I don’t know,” I say. “I’m starting to wonder if I’m even doing it all the right way. I know that’s stupid, but I’ve never loved someone, really.”

  “You love your sister,” he says. “And me. And Sam.”

  “But it’s different with Cody,” I say. “I’m supposed to want to be around him all the time and have him message me every second and all that, right?”

  “No,” he says. “I don’t want to be around Will all the time and he messages me just enough.”

  “I just don’t think I have the capabilities to love Cody the way he should be loved,” I say. “He’s an amazing person. I know he’d do anything for me and I love how great he is. I just keep thinking I’m going to hurt him. Either by my own hand or someone else’s.”

  “You’ll see.”

  “I’ll see what?” I ask him.

  “How wrong you are about it all,” he says. “Everything will be fine, you’ll see.”

  ***